I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?Take my advice — I'm not using it.My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home. When Alex thought about Bernie's statement that it was Kendra's idea to send him those videos, his interpretation could only be that his mom wanted sex with him. He was deeply moved when Kendra hugged him and was closed to tears on seeing him. He squeezed her hard and kissed her on the lips. She had seen little of him since her divorce. They had their supper and settled down in a hotel near the airport. They would make the long journey home tomorrow. After they had their showers, they sat up in bed for a bit of catching up. "Why out of all the young candidates, you chose Bernie for your first "cougar-fuck", mom?" Alex cheekily questioned mom's sexual judgement. For a few seconds there, Kendra was really caught off guard by that casual remark. But by the time Alex had finished telling her about the videos, she had recovered enough to come back with a retort. "You think you are a better candidate than Bernie?" She ran her hands through his hair and over his face and then moved in to.
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