Hans was sitting with a forlorn expression on his face in the common room and as he saw me coming in, he turned his gaze to the ground kneading his big hands.I sat next to him and said. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. I am sure ten thousand men as strong as you fell for one of those Sojonit weapons. She only did it to safe herself.”He looked up.”Oh I am not mad about that. Wetty did what she had to do and I am glad she did.”“Then what is bugging you? I don’t know when exactly but I promise you we get of this planet eventually.”“Eric I am not worried about that either, but I almost killed you. Har Hi seems to be a better friend to you than I am; he managed to aim to the side. I did not, I hit you. I always considered you my best friend, but it looks, like inside I am not strong enough.”I put my hand on his truly immense underarm. “It was Psionics and not you, I hate these invisible powers. Hans do you trust me?”“With my life you know that Eric.”“Do you believe what I say?”“I have. For me this was such an experience, for the short time I believed it, it was utterly intoxicating, but then my mind turned to the practicalities, pregnancy, childbirth, being a mother, these are life changing events, all would impact our lives, we would have to adjust our routines, how do you keep belly riding from a child? At what age is it appropriate to allow them to see, to learn that mummy likes to be impaled under a stallion?Yes, exactly.So no I wasn’t disappointed. Maybe that is selfish, but I think it is just practical. Laura and I had just married, we should give ourselves time to get used to that, enjoy it, before taking another life changing step.There was one other reason, one you might well realise if you have read these stories. I’m not good with people, I don’t have the patience to make polite conversation, I don’t like pretending to care about all the petty stuff, idiot celebrities, brain dead soap operas, farcebook. It’s not that I can’t, just that I much prefer.
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