The librarian nodded as they passed.Outside it was darkening. The air was heavy and sweet. Leaves turning.Tom needed to explain the fiction of the life this crazy girl led. But she was so unpredictable he could not risk a public scene. He motioned her into his car. As soon as she’d shut the door he said, “I can’t do this again.”She looked at him blankly.“I have a wife, Lilly.”Lilly turned away. She bit her knuckle so hard it broke the skin.Tom spoke again, hurriedly. “I thought you might have guessed. You – should have asked.”She looked at him. Liquid trembled on the shorelines of her eyes. He could not meet her gaze and turned to stare through the windscreen.Still Tom: “I mean, why me anyway?”Her voice was friable. “I’m lonely,” she said. “Nobody understands. I thought you were the same. I’m odd, I know. Can’t help it.” A sigh escaped. “That’s why I go to the library. At least with books I can live a hundred better lives.”Tom gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles whitened.“Books. The nurses gave her water to drink and it helped her throat some, but her voice didn't sound the same. It just wasn't right and May couldn't figure out why in her drug-induced state of calm and reduced pain.When the drugs were reduced, so she could think again, the pain, the eternal pain, returned - white hot and with a vengeance. And so May went along for a considerable time in her drug-induced state. The nurses fed her and tended to her, but there were only soups or very soft food to eat, and there was water to drink.May never wondered in her drugged state why she never got out of bed to go to the bathroom. The catheter in her took the urine away along with the blood that she was continuing to lose, but she didn't worry about any of this; not the number of days that she had been there, why she was there, or how she had gotten there. Everything was lost in the haze of the powerful painkillers the doctors were using to keep her from screaming all of the time from the pain.The pain.
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