There’s no way I can have it done. The cost from the hospital today, …’ Interrupting, ‘It’s paid for. The hospital covered it. You owe nothing.’ The range of emotions to cross her face was priceless. ‘I don’t owe anything?’ ‘Nothing. I discussed it with their financial aid people and your account will be fully covered.’ ‘How can I thank you?’ ‘Don’t thank me, you’re not out of the woods yet. Where will you travel from here?’ This was a leading question. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Do you have any friends?’ ‘No.’ ‘You don’t know of anyone in California?’ Again she shakes her head. ‘Then you can’t stay there. You’ll have to return.’ She nodded knowingly, and then added, ‘But I don’t know anyone in KC either.’ ‘What about Denver?’ ‘I don’t know any one from Denver?’ she says with a scowl on her face. ‘I’ve never been there.’ I let her think. For a full minute she looks at the wall, reasoning, then…’ ‘Oh.’ And she looks right at me. ‘But you’ve done so much already.’ ‘Do you want my help? If. .."I can't give it up Mother. I think you already knew that too." I suspected, but I wanted to hear it from you. Can you tell me why?"I tried, I really did, but no matter what I said it sounded inane andsilly. The feelings I had inside eluded my best efforts atdescription, and I waited for her to say no. I did not want to arguewith her about this, because she could force me back into pants justas quickly as she put me into dresses. I did not mention how Ben mademe feel."Okay, but you have the rest of this year and all of next before yougraduate Janet. That's a long time. What about after that? College, ajob, and so on? Will you do that as a woman as well?"I didn't think that far in advance! I looked at her and shrugged myshoulders, as if to say "I don't know", hoping that she could help me."If, and this is a big if, your Principal agrees to it, we will letyou continue as a girl, however we will have to change your namelegally, then we will see a doctor. A girl should have her own.
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