. ," I said after really thinking about his question. He didn't look like he was looking for a way to torment me. Indeed it seemed like for the first time in my life someone was validating my feeling of being violated by the behavior of my peers."Then why are you thinking foolish things like that or about killing yourself?" he asked. That set me to bawling again. It felt like he'd just hit me hard with an invisible knife.I didn't cry quite as long as the last time and when I stopped I choked out, "H ... ho ... how d ... di ... did you know I was thinking of that?" If you were engaging in the foolish fantasy of mass murder but were aware enough to know it was a futile thought then you were thinking about suicide too," He told me flatly. His statement ripped open another scar in my psyche and I cried some more. Not too much though, I was emotionally and physically exhausted from my earlier bouts of crying. When I stopped crying I realized that he was holding my hand softly. He pulled me. But, in fact I can assure you that if at the end of our holiday you wanted to take me with you next year I would more than happily go. I still quite like the idea of the year long holiday you are offering. I just think that you will probably realise that the age gap may be too much for us to be together for a whole year."No, let me tell you the whole truth. I met someone a few months ago and, although mum doesn't know, we spent a fair bit of time together over the school holidays while she was at work. Last Sunday I met him again and he is still keen on me. I put him off, saying that I would contact him on Sunday and possibly see him in the second week of the next school holidays."I know what you must be thinking, but you're wrong. I am still a virgin and, in fact, that's one of the reasons I want to spend the time with you. I would really like my first lover to be someone like you, older, sophisticated, nice, caring, experienced, someone who will teach me to not only how to make.
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