One Friday evening after work I drug myself home and fell onto the couch. I was whipped after a very long week and an ass chewing earlier that same day. Late morning ass chewing's are the worst I think. You have all morning to wait for it to happen and all afternoon to stew about it and try to stay out of sight.I was only interested in finding out how much of my ass was missing when Connie came in from work. She had been shopping. After dropping her bag on the counter she came over and sat next to me.We were both frazzled. We sat for several minutes before she looked at me and giggled. I stared back at her wondering what was so amusing. Her laughter was contagious and we were both laughing before I knew it.Connie's was in a mischievous mood. It reminded me of the time we put a hunk of dry ice in a half can of house paint and set it at her boss's door and rang the bell. We of course ran like blazes before he could get there. The resulting explosion of paint in his living room was. But hey, he was a fountain of sports trivia! "Do these guys honestly believe this is how to win a woman’s heart?" The next guy was trying too hard. “Do you like flowers? If so, I’ll buy them for you by the truckload.” “What?” Roxanna wondered, “Is this guy in the flower business? Wholesale flower discounts by the truckload?” “No,” Roxanna thought. “A truckload of flowers won’t impress me. How you treat me as a person…how you touch my body…and how you treat my son…that’s what will impress me!” On the back side of every written profile were pictures of the man described in the profile. Roxanna knew that she’s supposed to read the written profiles first. And then look at the photos of the guys afterward. But these profiles were so frustrating! These men, writing to present their best features about themselves. All trying to impress women. Yet they all sounded like such losers! So Roxanna flipped all the way to the back of the book. She started flipping backwards, through just the.
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