Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in the park talking when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older”. “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she’s healthier than ever!” “Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered. “Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches”. He answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years”. Recession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car”. He replies “If you take it up. I felt guilty, but I couldn't help the feelings. Those feelings grew stronger as time passed.In the meantime, I had sex with several older women and each was extremely pleasureable. Some men like young girls, but I was drawn to older women. I was drawn to my mother.My dad passed away when I was 28. Mom dated for while and then she met a man who was 12 years her senior. He was quite wealthy and mom would be set for the rest of her life. He was nice and I got along with him well. They had been married for 11 years and as far as I knew, they were happy. At least Mom always said that she was. They lived in Florida and I went down to spend a week with them this past winter. I hadn't seen Mom in over a year and when I did, I was amazed at how good she looked. Money does wonders for people. She was tanned, fit and as beautiful as ever. I knew that if I ever had the chance to fuck her, I would in a heartbeat. I never thought I would get that chance, though and fucking her remained a.
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