"I spotted an empty stool at the end of the bar, made a beeline to itand sat down. For the next hour I nursed a drink trying to figure outwhat to do next. I desperately wanted to meet others like me, like thepeople I saw in that photo. Then the owner of the bar came over, talkedto me, made me feel welcome and then insisted I meet some of hercustomers. In the back of the bar, there was a table with several womenlike me. They were some of the "gender fluid" crowd I was hoping toconnect with. I had the best evening of my life. I've been a regularnow for over nine months now. I walk in and the bartenders will yellout "Stacey," and wave.So how can this possibly be happening to me? I mean, this is my safeplace, my happy place, the only place where I truly feel good about myself.Chapter 1: A date interruptedTonight when I arrived, I sat at the bar on a stool near the doorbecause I was waiting to meet a friend. Actually April maybe a littlemore than a friend. We are meeting for a "maybe, kind. My brother and our cousin had once discussed having them, so I thought it was something triggered with boys when their testes were full, they dreampt they were having sex and orgasmed.Of course as girls dont have the physical attribute of boys, I assumed it had something to do with my own budding sexuality, and a quick touch between my legs, feeling the warmth and still sensuous tingling, encouraged me to linger and try to maintain, that feeling I had just experienced, so I began masturbating again, trying to imagine him again, but somehow it remained elusive.I got up and went to the bathroom, locked the door and put on the light. I looked at myself in the sink mirror, hoping to see a difference, wanting to see the woman in me, breaking out from the girls body, having experienced a mental sexual act with a family member, I saw I was wet, not from sweat, but from sperm, I had been ejaculated on, and the deep imprinted feeling on and in my vagina, that I was still experiencing, did.
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