I went back and did a thorough spell and punctuation check, and fixed some run on sentences, also paragraphs were too long. One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf ball, the story was a fantasy but hey he was right about it being unrealistic, and he had brought it up politely so no reason not to make a change. After making those corrections I reposted the story awaiting further comments and hoping for a few compliments.There were some attaboys and requests to keep writing, but another reader pointed out that my story would go better if it was a girl protagonist rather than a male, so Robert became Roberta and I reposted.This was followed by a deluge of emails. I had forgotten to do a search and replace for; he, him, and his. I said a few choice words but made the corrections and reposted.Again a few good comments but one really good thought. Golf though played by women is more of a man's game; I should have her play tennis. As Drew has suspected, the doctor had been on the same flight as he had arrived on and had obviously been following him around. The fact that an otherwise law-abiding doctor had seemingly turned into a killer was just as much of a conundrum as the solicitor Jason Welsh attacking Mark MacGhee.That knowledge linked two things that didn't fit the overall picture that Drew was forming and that meant two things that worried him. One possible explanation for both Welsh and Bankier's actions was that they really had been subjected to mind control. If that was the case and MacGovern was the mastermind behind all of the criminal activity, why would he order someone like Bankier to attack himself? The second thing that didn't fit was that the notebook made no reference to any contact with Jason Welsh. If MacGovern had ordered the solicitor to attack MacGhee, surely it would have been mentioned in the book? If it hadn't been MacGovern who was controlling Welsh, who was? Did that lend more.
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