'They say I died!!''Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?''Just water, ' says the priest.The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.''Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?''When it was over, ' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.''Really, ' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.He. ” Carrie got up and scooted over next to my sister, and slid her legs back through the balcony railing’s bars. She stroked Hannah’s back, testing the waters. Hannah turned toward her and smiled gently. Carrie turned around to me and asked, for show, “Mike, did you know your sister had a girlfriend.”“I’d heard, yeah,” I said, feigning ignorance of whatever plan she had in the works.“It was a long time ago,” Hannah said.“Well, it explains why you got all wiggy when you saw those photos.” Hannah gave her a confused look. “Honey, your brother and I have an understanding. Where you come from—your church—you have to play it pretty close to the chest. Seeing pictures of naked women must have been hard.”“Not really,” Hannah said.“Oh?” Carrie raised her eyebrows. She turned to me, tilting her empty beer bottle. “Babe, would you grab me another?”“Sure,” I said. Hannah handed me hers, too. “You too?”“Yes, please,” she said. She was loosening up a little. Again, I took my time, not obviously.
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