”I replied, “Hi Gretchen, my friends call me the horniest guy that they have ever met.”She smiled and asked, “Are you putting me on?”I laughed and said, “Maybe!”Then she asked, “Do I make you horny?”I replied, “No! I’m not into gorgeous sexy blonde schoolteachers anymore. However, my neighbor’s sexy underwear is driving me absolutely crazy.”She looked around at her clothesline and then she started giggling. She had the sweetest smile I had seen in a long time. Then she asked, “What would happen if a gorgeous sexy blonde schoolteacher were to model your neighbor’s sexy underwear? Would that get you horny?”I was in love! She was beautiful, she was intelligent, and she had a sense of humor. She could easily be a ten in any man’s book.I asked, “Would you like a glass of wine?”Gretchen said, “Yes, I would like a glass, red if possible. You do know that you don’t have to get me drunk to get me into my own underwear.”I laughed and asked, “Are you already in my neighbor’s underwear?”She. “Think about it.”Dan slid the box across the table. “Open it.”Russell opened the box and pulled the wrapping paper away. “Oh...” He got up and stood at the sink. He grabbed a paper towel. His shoulders trembled as he wiped his face. “Thank you.”“You’re welcome. There’s an envelope with some wallet size prints underneath.”Russell took the painting and placed it on his mantelpiece. He grabbed two beers as he came back to the table.“I’m getting married in a few months.”“Busy planning?”“Nope,” Dan grinned. “I’ve got my part down pat. I wear what I’m told and say what they tell me.”Russell laughed. “I knew you were smarter than you looked.”“I was wondering if you’d be my best man.”“That’s supposed to be your best friend.”“I know,” Dan scratched his head “Somehow, I got stuck with you.”Russell rolled his eyes, “So much for being smart. I’ll do it, but at the reception, I get a slow dance with your mother.”“It’ll break her heart but I’m sure I can talk her into it. You know she has a.
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