She just looked at me. Jeff reached over and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. I leaned down and kissed the top of John’s head then continued. ‘I was pulled out of my memories by mom’s voice. ‘But Thomas, don’t you love me anymore?’ Dad knelt down before her and took her hands in his. ‘I’ve wanted to. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you walking down the hall in high school, but over the past few years. All the fighting and everything else have just gotten to me.’ He dropped her hands and stood up with his back to her. ‘I’m moving out. I’ll file the papers so you don’t have to worry about that.’ Then he turned back to her. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you and the kids are taken care of.’ With that he walked towards the door. I felt Robert grab my hand and pull me into the living room just as dad came out of the study. We stood there in silence for a minute just looking at each other. This kind of stuff happened to other families, it couldn’t. . dammit, I had trustedthat bitch!Loss: everything I had built up and tried to be these past five years,gone in a scant few weeks, wasted and thrown away for nothing--my life,my strength, my friends. Every effort to leave behind a violent childhoodundone as I slept.Fear: nearly mind-numbing, at what I had become, the kind of life thisbody forced me into, the seeming permanency of it all.Gradually my trembling subsided and the mental torrent quieted down,leaving in its wake a single, distinct thought pure and strong. Itgrounded me to the present. Gave me the strength to slowly uncurl andstand on weak legs and find myself in the mirror a final time. The womanin the glass was small and soft and weak, but her eyes blazed like newlytempered steel.I would be revenged on them all.***I lost myself in the sounds of my new home. I sat at the edge of my bed,staring unseeingly at the floor and my mind absently followed the auralebb and flow. The earlier cry of children playing faded as the light.
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