I turned, scooped her up and carried her to the bed. I undressed her and myself, and we made slow, passionate love, then cuddled naked.“What will you do if you find him?” I asked.“Deb told you?”“Yes.”“Call him, I guess. It’s been nearly ten years at this point. For all I know he’s married and has kids.”“That’s possible, but he could, equally likely, never have gotten over you the way you haven’t gotten over him.”“And then Joel and I ride off into the sunset?”“I’d prefer to keep you as a friend,” I said. “But if that’s what’s best for you...”“Right now, what’s best for me, is your love and affection.”“It makes me feel very good to hear you say that.”“I would hope so,” she laughed. “You said it was better than wild sex with four willing girls.”“I said that because it’s true.”Milena smiled and snuggled close. A few minutes later, we fell asleep, entwined in each other’s arms and legs.July 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio“Mishka!” Tasha exclaimed when I greeted her in the lobby of the dorm.“Hi,. ”“Back in Moslem country, eh?”Queresh paced the room. He stared at one of his prized impressionist paintings, a still-life, a basket of fruit next to a vase full of violets. He had purchased the painting from a young artist about whom many knew little. He admired its careless, thick brush strokes. He had worked hard to acquire it. He paid top dollar. This painting tried hard to remain within some established form and structure, yet conveyed confusion and uncertainty. He needed to tell Alan so much, but he couldn’t utter a word. The stirrings of the troubled soul on the edge of change needs an ear to unload his most precious secrets. Like insects streaking and hunting through his body Queresh possessed this self-doubt, devouring what remained of his confidence.“I’ve never seen you like this,” remarked Rothenberg.“Oh yes you have. I’ve been hiding it, but you’ve seen it.”“When have I seen it?”“Right now. You can say I’m going through changes.”“Everyone goes through changes. Change is.
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