Marcia would like to have had asimilar "defining moment" in her life, but it struck her that her life notonly lacked a defining moment, but that it really didn't have anydefinition at all.It was a more amorphous thing, her life; if it advanced, and that wasoften in doubt, it did so like one of those one-cell animals oozing itsway across a glass slide, parts of it going forward even as other partswere moving backwards, parts of it going up at the same time that otherparts were going down, until there was really no forward and back, up ordown, until you couldn't even say if the thing had any intentionwhatsoever, if her life, of which this one-cell animal was a model, wasactually going anywhere at all.Well, that wasn't quite right either, was it? Because her life had gonesomewhere, that was undeniable. You only had to look at who she was nowcompared to who she'd been. Changes, big changes, had been made. But itwas as if they'd been made by some intelligence at work outside of. "C-c-c-come b-b-b-back." I can't," Hank said. "Dad said he's going to phone when he knows howbad J.J. is." W-w-w-w-what h-h-h-h-h-h-h-happened?" I stammered, feeling every wordripping from me, jagged with longing."J.J.," Hank said quietly. "He tried to hang himself."Quite suddenly, everything seemed to stop for me. Everything wassuddenly completely mixed up in my mind, thoughts coming and going toofast for me to even digest, just their meanings building up and up andup into a cobweb of guilt and self hatred. Was this because of me, hadmy change somehow turned J.J. into something else, exposing some hugelydepressive part of his character? Had it been something I said to himthat had started him on this spiral. How had it all happened so fast?Quite suddenly my chest was burning and I took in a breath, but I wasunable to hold it as my body juddered. I took in another and thenanother quicker and more rapid so that I could get the air back intome.Darren was there in a moment; he plucked the.
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