It’s been hard. I’ve gone on lots of first dates, a few second dates, but almost no third dates. I have not made love to anyone since she got sick. I’m not casual about it. It’s not recreational for me. I have looked and have tried to be patient, hoping I would find someone I could love with all my heart, passionately. “The past three months I have only gone out with you. I’ve tried to tell myself I was just infatuated with the idea of a beautiful young girl being attracted to me. All along I expected you to tell me one day you had met some guy your age in a class, and that would be the end. I refused to let myself consider that you might actually love me as much as I loved you. “What we just shared was wonderful. I can hardly wait until a year from now when we have slowly learned even better how to make love to each other. I know, that doesn’t make sense to you, but it will. After a year of marriage, we will know each other so much better that we can take each other to wonderful. She was shaking and tears were coming from her eyes.I took her hand and literally dragged her to the house, getting almost as wet as she. Once inside I gave her a towel and she was so cold she didn't move. I started drying her head and then her face. I could see her chin was quivering from the cold and I wondered how to get her warm quickly.I removed her coat and her clothing was as wet as the coat. I took her hand and pulled her, leading her to the bathroom upstairs. I pushed her inside and told her to get in the shower and I would get her a robe from Nina's room, along with a towel.I searched for the long, heavy robe Nina sometimes wore but I could not locate it. I heard the shower running and I rushed downstairs to see if it was in the laundry room. I couldn't locate it. I thought about hot chocolate and put the kettle on filled with water and went upstairs.I searched more however I could not find the robe and I went to my room and found my robe. It wasn't as long and was much.
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