”“No way,” replied Satan. “I like having an engineer, and I’m keeping him.”God threatened, “Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!”Satan laughed and answered, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”This woman goes in for a facelift and the doctor says: “We’ve got this new method: I put a knob in the back of your head, and every time you feel like you need a lift, just turn it.”She gets the knob implanted and is beautiful for five years.But one day she notices a problem and returns to the doctor.“I’ve got these huge bags under my eyes,” she complains.The surgeon replies: “Those aren’t bags; those are your breasts.”“Ah,” she sighs. “That explains the goatee.”The juryman petitioned the court to be excused, declaring: “I owe a man twenty-five dollars that I borrowed, and as he is leaving town today for some years I want to catch him before he gets to the train and pay him the money.”“You are excused,” the judge announced in a very cold voice. “I don’t want anybody on. Then she found her voice."You pervert," she yelled loudly and I was concerned that someone would hear. "I'm calling the police." Be my guest," I said, sounding more confident than I felt, for I was sure that I had gone a little to far with my joke. But I was sure that one, she probably wouldn't go through with her threat and two, if she did what could they do, I hadn't done anything and it was her word against mine.She did an about turn and left me to admire her shapely behind.Two days later at about ten in the evening there was a bang on the door and I was surprised to find two police officers on my doorstep with a warrant to search my place. They had received an anonymous tip off that I was hiding drugs there, I almost laughed but invited them in. Of course they found nothing, they weren't even interested in my eardrops.A couple of weeks went by, then one lunchtime, into my office stormed a very angry June."You did it, didn't you?" she shouted, luckily the office was empty."What.
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