‘Come in the house,’ she tugged at my arm. I remained glued to the sidewalk. I pulled Nan back to me and held her, I kissed her forehead and said, ‘No Baby, I have to go.’ I walked back the way that I had come, the same aimless wander. I slipped into the darkness that had descended without my knowledge. I stopped at an all night café and drank coffee until the sun came up. I had seen my life through tired eyes in the bottom of the chipped and stained mug, a mixture of warmth and consolation descending to a bitter cold murk. The waitress filled the cup again and I realized what a fool I was. It was that easy, the warmth could be replenished. I could live life again with my family, but not yet. I had to get free of the albatross that was around my throat and threatened to tear my family apart. Amir had almost succeeded in doing just that, but we would not have to worry about him again. My next thought was of Nan, I wondered how she was standing up to the stress. I had seen her a few. ." Not everybody's still a virgin at thirteen, you know," said Sandra."No, I guess not, I mean, I know some kids who say they've done it and all, but who knows." You never really answered, Jeremy, have you done it, I'm thinking 'not.'" No, I haven't, okay. Not that I wouldn't want to," I added with a grin."Yeah, I can tell you want to," Diane laughed as she reached over and put the palm of her hand on the bulge of my shorts."You're all excited, Jeremy, did we do that to you?" Sandra asked."Come on, girls, this isn't fair," I answered but without removing her hand from where she had put it."I've got to check something downstairs," Sandra said as she got up and left the room pulling the door closed behind her.Diane stood up and started to unbutton her blouse as I stood there watching her."What are you doing, Diane?" Just relax, Jeremy, it's gotten hot in here and I'm just trying to cool off," as she slipped her blouse off and stood there in her bra."Whew, that's better. Right?"I didn't.
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