Marianna and I discussed life, her liberal political views, her ever expanding modeling and fashion career and briefly dipped into her love life. She had a few pictures on her cellular phone of past boyfriends. There was a definite pattern in the men she dated. They were all just slightly taller than her in heels, rugged looks, broad shoulders and a strong jawline with a toned upper body that possessed somewhat of the "V-physique" bodybuilders have. I didn't dare say a word, but each of them were similar in appearance to myself. Marianna explained she had came to town specifically to spend time with me, and to atone for missing several birthdays of mine. I can't say that didn't make me a jovial old man, but I was curious of her night plans. She began to inform me that she would drive out to the nearest hotel and get a room for the night, which I quickly shot down. I offered up my guest room, and she immediately agreed.Later, I continued through my usual daily routine. As the sun fell. Please don’t think I didn’t love him, because I worshipped him. Yet, he was so insecure that we were never able to really let go and enjoy our lovemaking like I had dreamed it would be. For a long time, I thought it was just me wanting too much love, and I asked my doctor about it. She told me that it was more than likely an extension of his insecurities. She went on to tell me that it could actually be due to me being the headliner in all the WPRA events, plus all the endorsements and the fact that everyone knew me no matter where we traveled.”“Was it that way after you stopped competing?”“Sometimes even more so, because even then, we were always on the road to some awards event that I was being paid to emcee, or to some place where we were doing an ad for one of the sponsors I endorse, or to a rodeo where I was to be one of the announcers. I loved being in the spotlight and I felt like I had earned the right to all the fame and notoriety of being a tall, sexy, raven-haired beauty.
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