. Oh fuck...what's happened?" Missing notes....ring a bell?... Plus...er....some other things....I had to...er....um.....beg and grovel...to ..er...stop him turning me in. Then, because of you....I've had to get my nipples...er....pierced....that's where I've been this morning..sitting with young girls....getting tats on their backs and hands....every fucking where. I'm right in the shit..." Oh dear...." Oh fucking dear....is that all you can say....he's a bastard.....and your fucking shagging him...what's that all about. I thought you hated him....same as everybody...Lesley...he's gross...whats happened that's changed your, mind...he told me you liked him and you've invited him to dinner...what's that all about? He's planning on leaving his wife...and be...'happy ever after" with you.....all he talked about was you...he's obsessed with you."Lesleys face must have been a picture. When she left his office at 930 this morning she had made an arrangement with the man in question to come. This brought everyone out to the backyard."Have your fun girls but I expect you at work on time in the morning!" Isaid.I went home. I hung up my washing saying to myself:"I hate dresses. I would not wear a dress if my life depended on it."Just then I found a dress hung up on a hanger on the end of my washingline."This means war," I said to myself.I went over to Katie's shop."I told you I don't wear dresses," I said throwing the dress at her.Katie said something to Henry who seemed to appear out of nowhere."Katie said "every one, just once in their life, should wear a dress!"..."Then I noticed that Henry was wearing a dress!He said:"Dresses are much cooler in summer, you can wear cotton or silk and thefeel of your dress blowing up your legs like that famous film with MarilynMonroe. And they make you feel sexy! So you want to try?" No, no thanks!" I said rushing out of her shop.I sat in my backyard wondering, with my bottle of vodka, where this wasall going, when my dog, Sid, came.
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