I used to laugh when I heard that people were going through mid-life crisis, but I seem to be experiencing that myself.I'm still a very attractive woman and I have a wonderful husband and family. I just feel like my children are getting older and needing less of my nurturing. I've been in the dumps lately and really cannot get out of it.I didn't think that buying a fast car or something really expensive would do it for me. In fact, I really was thinking that I wanted to do something really wild and crazy for my 50th birthday. I told my husband that I wanted to have group sex with him and his two friends. My husband got turned on and told me he would arrange it for me. He said that it was very exciting to think about and wanted to definitely make that happen.Bob scheduled our group sex night on Saturday evening. The morning of the big day, I went and had a manicure, pedicure and went tanning at the salon. I also stopped to get my hair put in a French braid.I wanted to look really sexy. “The one at his spine we can remove but there is a chance he would be paralyzed for life in doing so,” he added.I had him operate on me not to make me complete again. I was hoping I would die during this operation thus joining the souls of the men I lost in Vietnam. I wanted my war to be finally over however it was to become only the beginning.I survived the operation and I would have to find another way to join my fallen comrades. I faced a major struggle in my recovery. I did not want to live and deal with what lies ahead of me which was months of therapy to regain the use of my legs and my arm. If not for Carrie being at my side, I would not be writing this today.I tried to send her away as I was unsure if I would ever walk again. I became helpless when she was with me. I had her hand me something that I could have easily reached for with my working arm. I tried to convince her I was no longer that man she had fallen in love with years ago.Carrie would not let me give up on myself.
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