Now I'd never seen a transsexual naked in real life, but this was her first time being intimate with someone she'd met after she started transitioning. Her past boyfriends had known her from before or even transitioned with her, so I was the first that she fell for knowing her only as "Amy" and not who she was before."We don't have to do this now, if you'd rather not," I forced the words out. I was incredibly horny for her, but I also truly did not want her to be uncomfortable for this. I've lost out on sex many times due to things like this, but I never wanted a woman to regret me. Regret losing me, maybe, but never to regret me.She smiled slightly, her red lips widening on that gorgeous pale complexion. Amy lowered her head for a second, her black bangs covering her blue eyes, but when she raised it back up she had a quiet strength in them. She wanted me as I wanted her, not just sexually, but as a partner. Amy took in a breath and reached a hand out to caress my chest. My hair. Staying away from her at this point is a form of self-protection for all of us.Bargaining-I would make a deal with the devil to go back in time and stop her affair before it started. But there is not a way to unfuck the guy my wife was with. Maybe therapy? Is there some kind of penance I can do to make this go away? Something she can do to make it all better? Sadly I know deep down even if my wife wore sackcloth's and ashes as atonement I could never forget, or trust her ever again.Guilt-Now that I made the decision why do I feel so shitty? Is it my fault I am breaking up the family, if I had been a better spouse would it have prevented her from fucking some other guy? Why cannot I even consider taking a second chance? I am so trying not to believe I am the bad guy in all this. But the look on my children's faces as I try to explain the "new" normal rips my conscience with remorse.Helplessness-Yes, I know fathers get the short end of the stick in any dissolution of a marriage, more.
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