It’s times like this she feels broken. It’s times like this that she feels like her body is dirty. Tarnished. Ruined. It’s times like these that all she can see on her body are his handprints, forever burned into her flesh. It pains me to see her like this. None of it’s true, but I can’t make her see that. I can’t make her heal faster. I can only help, remind her of her worth, remind her I care for her, remind her that it will be ok, and, sometimes, hold her while she does the exact opposite. Hold her while she beats herself up. Hold her while she tells herself she is broken. Hold her while she reverts back to that 14-year-old girl on the bus who froze while her boyfriend molested her. So here we are. She is shaking and bawling uncontrollably and I am holding her as tight as I can so she can feel safe as she does. It’s killing me, but she needs this. I hate him. I hate what he did to her. He probably doesn’t even know. As she calms down I loosen my grip. She turns around and. Might as well get started to the day. you slide out of bed, letting your nightie slip off your shoulders and fall to your feet. his instructions were explicit: get prepared for the day remaining fully nude and the curtains drawn back. So you walk out to the kitchen and get the coffee going, open the front door and walk to the end of the hall to get the paper. Your heart races as you open the front door. your eyes dart back and forth, your ears seem especially alert for the faintest sound of neighbors or the mail man. You know he would be disappointed of you covered you breasts with your hands or if you ran to get the paper. You hesitate for just a moment, take a deep breath and step out. you step lightly and quickly down the hall to get the paper. Tunnel-vision sets in and you realize that you can't see anything except that blasted paper. The way your heart has been pounding, you probably wouldn't have heard a shotgun blast, let alone someone opening their door. Paper.
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