Douglas went to China after squeezing a big advance from his publisher and eighteen months later that book was published and he cried that was enough because it had been such a lonely life and produced only superficial relationships. He fancied a relationship that linked souls but doubted he’d ever be lucky enough to find that. Almost six months after he’d switched to become a portrait photographer a letter from New Zealand arrived, from a law firm. With deep curiosity Douglas opened it and he began reading and soon his hands were shaking. ‘Dear Mr Rogan It is with deep regret we inform you your friend Miss Kitty Ryan has died of cervical cancer. In her final days she was taken from hospital to lay in a bed on the deck of her rundown home beside the lagoon. We were advised by a nurse she’d died relatively peacefully just after dawn when the gulls were at their noisiest. Under the provisions of the will Miss Ryan has left you all of her unpublished poems, some 400 of them, and the. .. oh yeah!”The nine year old girl glanced ruefully at her own flat-as-a-boy chest.“Paul, do you think I’ll have big tits when I grow up?”“Oh gee, Paula, I don’t know.” The boy pursed his lips. “Your mom’s are kind of big, so yeah probably. I mean, they ain’t gigantic or anything, but they’re kind of big.”“Yeah,” the girl nodded. “Yeah, they are kind of big. And I seen pics of my grandmamas in bathing suits. My Grandmama Stevens, hers were like Mommy’s: kind of big. But my Grandmama Akron; hers were really big! Like, bigger than Ms. Fishbeck’s.”“That’s pretty big,” Paul admitted. “So yeah, when you grow up yours’ll be halfway between kind of big and really big.”Paula lightly pressed her fists to her bare chest and began walking around, moving her fists to simulate the bounce of hefty adult breasts. Her boyfriend laughed out loud. But then he hugged her.“No matter how big they get, I’ll still love you.” He gave her a little kiss. “Hell, I’ll love you if you never grow any boobs at.
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