“Let me know in advance that you’re making a move, Ray. I could be ready for you then,” she giggled.“Your bikini top was about to reveal ... you’re really incredible ... absolutely fascinating ... beautifully shaped ... breasts!” I declared.She blushed nearly as much as I did. “Get in the car, Ray!”I did as she pulled out of the parking lot, and we headed home. Now, I was checking her out. She really is quite beautiful.“Susan, do you have many boyfriends?” I asked.“I’m taking a self-imposed vacation from boys. What you said earlier about girls. It’s twice as bad with the guys.”“How do you mean?” I questioned.“Well, if you’re not pretty, the boys don’t want to have anything to do with you, if you’re average looking, you don’t have any girlfriends or boyfriends and if you are pretty, the boys all expect you to put out on the first day, and the other pretty girls don’t like you and call you a slut or something because you put out...”“Since you obviously fit in the third category, explain. Where a guy reads that as a simple question, ‘have you ever cheated on a partner or spouse,’ which is a simple yes-or-no, a woman reads the underlying judgement (‘are you a cheater?’), and that’s where it all goes wrong. I suppose I could be totally off, but if I’m skewed it’s down to experience. In my brief lifetime, I’ve personally known four people who were caught cheating. All four were women. That could very easily be coincidence, and I accept that, but if you put that anonymous questionaire in front of those women I suspect that they’d be classic cases of what you might call ‘informed self-reporting.’ Example one, and the one I find the most upsetting: when I was in my teens, my mother had a long term affair. Apparently it continued for more than a year before she kicked my dad out and married her boyfriend. At the time my adolescent brain processed this event as being both their faults, and I divided my anger equally. She never bothered to correct this misperception, which.
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