It was fun. As we were walking to Agnes’ history class, I received a phone call. It was from the District Attorney’s office notifying me that there was going to be a hearing Friday over Mike’s death.I asked what was the purpose of the hearing. I was told that it was to determine whether or not charges would be filed against Miz Stover for murder and myself for assault and battery. I asked if we should obtain legal representation since we had only protected ourselves from attacks. I was told that we should bring witnesses to present our side as well as having an attorney present to represent our interests.I asked where and what time Friday this would all take place. I was told that the hearing would be in courtroom number one at nine o’clock. I said that I was with Miz Stover and we would be there with witnesses including the campus police.The person was a bit happily surprised but managed to get off the phone. I wasn’t happy. Agnes asked me what was going on. I said, “I believe. Single girls just don’t do it for me and I guess you could say I’m a bit of a wife lover. I don’t know why but they make my knees go weak and all I can think about is kneeling between their deliciously spread thighs and giving them the pleasure they deserve. Fortunately, my neighbour’s wife is fat and ugly, so I reckon I’m okay on the being godly front, but there’s a niggling doubt right at the back of my mind that tells me this is perhaps not the healthiest of routes.What should I do Missus? (mmm)Yours, with trembling knees,Desirée MuffDear Desires Muff,Finally. At last. A letter that truly understands the devotional requirements of wife worshipping. Banish doubt, sweet little Desirée, and allow yourself to wallow in desire.Now it might be the case that your neighbour is a fat old trout with all the sexual allure of a fat old trout, but cast your net wider, or even use your free weekends to stalk about the used car lots nearby to see what wifely models are on offer. You might not.
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