“One last thing,” the doctor chimed in again, “you may experience conflicting thoughts as your puberty progresses. Your natural instincts and thoughts will become and want to be more feminine. Since you have memories and a pattern of doing things as a male, you may find it hard to accept the new feelings. This can be a very stressful process, and we will recommend a therapist for you. You can decide if you want to use the service or not, but it may prove to be helpful.”“I can handle it.”I had to debate with my mom after the call. I was already going through it, and I managed to get this far. At the first opportunity, I retreated to my room. There was no way I wanted to talk about this stuff with a therapist. I could feel the emotions about it bubbling up, so I went back to my nail polish to take my mind off of it. I looked at my fingernails again and confirmed to myself that I did a pretty good job, but I wanted to practice more still. My mind went back and forth on if I should remove. "I smiled and said, "That's fine. I personally don't care what people do as long as it doesn't bother me." What do you mean?" he asked, his hand now on my hand that was resting on my thigh."I mean, gay, straight, or bi is not my business. If a man loves a man, and they are happy, then who am I to say anything. Same with women." Have you ever been with a woman?"Shit. I know this is a lot of guys' fantasy, but really, why do they always ask? "Yes." How was it?" Another honest question, but I was beginning to wonder what was up with this kid's questions."Different," I said. "And before you ask, the answer is 5. Each one different, and no I won't tell you anything about any of them. Oh and if you mention this to anyone ever, I will deny it."None of them were my friend, in fact I don't think she knew as it wasn't something I bragged about with. Dawson quickly said, "Oh god no. I'd never tell. I just didn't think you had. I mean, most women haven't."Great, now he thinks I'm a freak, or.
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