This drove me crazy with jealousy and rage and confusion."I love you, Ma," I would declare. "Nobody would know. Nobody would get hurt by this." But we'd know, Paul. We'd know the truth and I don't think either of us could live with that." I don't think either of us can live with the way things are now. You need a man and I need a woman. We have each other. We love each other. Are we going to keep walking around each other? Are we going to keep ignoring our needs when we can easily satisfy them? We're both adults. We can make that decision. We can choose to live and love as we see fit." But it's not right, Paul. It's just not right," she lamented. But I knew that her resolve was far from solid. It would just take time. Time and careful preparation on my part. But she called my hand before I could bet, because she began dating again, much to my disapproval.On the night that she finally thought it was safe to bring her boyfriend home (she thought that I was out with my friends), I had. " Shewhispered. "When we were old enough to walk and understand, she'd take uschildren into the woods. If we saw them, she would take us again andagain. Always blindfolded, so no one would be able to find their way backif we turned mean."I saw them. So did a brother and two cousins. We all wished we couldfind them." She began to cry.Rob patted her on the back, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and litone. It had been finished when she finally looked up."I'm sorry. I just wished... I don't know if they can help..." She wipedher face, standing. "I'm sorry I bothered you." Help with what?" Lupine asked. The New York Irish accent seemed to jarthe woman."Mama had a stroke. She was paralyzed." She sobbed again. "We didn't havethe money to support her. None of us did. We had to put her in a statehospital but all they could do is keep her alive. She was wasting awaybefore our eyes. I visited her when I could, but there was nothing Icould do, nothing any of us could do to help."About a year.
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