This was a pretty bizarre and remote fantasy, but they're the ones that really get the juices flowing. One morning she turned up early. Me, still half-asleep in my dressing gown, her, smiling and beamingly chatty as usual. "Yes Jean, it is a lovely morning. No I haven't got anything specific in mind to do today. Yes Jean, I would like a cup of tea. No Jean, I won't use all the hot water. etc etc." But in my 16 year old fevered imagination it was, "Jean, is there any chance you could make me your slave for the day and let me worship your beautiful feet before dragging me up to bed and demanding that I satisfy your pent up sexual urges once and for all. In fact Jean, why don't you just say to me, I've always fancied you Peter, now get down on your knees and suck my sexy toes before you fuck me you naughty boy." I can feel a boner coming on thinking of this while she's standing in front of me, and I start to worry that I'm wearing nothing under my dressing-gown. I haven't worn pajamas. I started to subconsciously break or damage things as well. Casually while doing dishes or putting them away. Slip, his mother’s casserole dish. Slip, his grandmother’s dessert wine glasses. Plates, glasses. Broken inside the dishwasher and on the floor. Most I had to hide in the trash. He evicted me while I was in a psychiatric hospital for no reason other than ‘You were mean to me.’ My social worker mentioned that he wanted the hospital to release me to homeless shelter so he didn’t have to give me any of my stuff. She advised him that it would be a bad move legally. He liked to tackle and threaten to kill. When I disagreed or felt tired of being ignored and bled dry for my time, housekeeping, rent, and lawn care, he’d assault me. When I struck back or screamed too loud, he’d call and they’d come. They never listened to me and he always won with lies. I would be tucked away and he’d visit the standards, I guess: strip club for coke and his friend for a cock to suck. I had no.
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