He seems to enjoy making me cry. Inever used to cry, when I was a man. Now I just blubber like a babywhenever he is nasty to me.I just accept it. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be better - thattomorrow he will appreciate all that I have done, all that I have givenaway, to be his.Diary Entry 20He barely notices me, but other people do. I used to see my staff in thekitchen talking about me and maybe giggling, as if saying: "There is thechef who is trying to be a woman". Now I don't see it that much. PeopleI don't know have started calling me "Miss", or "Ma'am" or "Lady". It ishard to get used to, but I like it because it seems all that I am doingmust be working.I could see my shape change regardless. There is no mistaking what isgrowing on my chest. Little tits. I can see them. Others can too. Whycan't Scott see them? Why can't he say something about them? I am doingthis for him.I was invited to join a tasting table at my restaurant this week. I tookoff my whites. Again she was trying to act decent but she could not cover up in a lady like manner, not enough material. Giovanni, said he needed to go the bathroom, later I realized he wanted to put on a condom, he wanted to progress and seduce,fuck in a smooth manner, during this time I laid her down on a towel,and I had her lay on her stomach with a smaller pillow underneath her stomach, thus with her ass raised, she had shed her jacket, but her g-string still on, again what a sight, he returned to start the massage, he started with her legs, started w/ hot oil that I heated in the microwave, he had to get her comfortable and relaxed, again we are talking about a very shy and nervous lady, he gradually spread her legs apart massaging ever so slowly up her inner thighs, spreading her a bit more, noticed that her g-string was becoming oiled, a little wider, little upper, a bit under the g-string, I felt under her g-string she was like a faucet, just a mass of oily moisture, I did not.
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