I couldn’t believe I had another panic attack last night. That was the third one this week. But no matter was my anxiety level, I had become an expert of hiding what I was really feeling. That was the reason I began writing in the first place. I needed an out. However, these days, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I shoved my nightmare to the back of my mind, sighed and threw the covers off me. I made my way over to my closet. I paused, looking down at my pajamas, which only caused me to groan. I must have slept on my arm. My shirt had lines of dried blood all over it. I studied the damage I had inflicted the night before, feeling disgusted. There were three cuts total marring the pale skin of my forearm, one for each episode this week. I don’t know what made me pick up the scissors that first night. I think I was just sick of feeling as if I couldn’t release the pressure inside of me. Something had to give. Now it seemed that each time I had an attack, I wanted to cut myself again.. I slowly pressed my lips gently against hers, holding them there and then slowly pulling them apart. Mom had no reaction, as her parted lips hovered close to mine. I moved back in and pressed my lips against hers again, sealing them in a soft, illicit kiss.“Mmmmm,” Mom moaned as I gently pressed my lips against hers, slowly applying a bit more pressure.She stopped struggling as her hands slid down from my neck and quietly landed on my arms. I slowly swiveled my head, sliding my lips across hers and deepening the kiss. I began to notice a change in Mom’s reaction, her body, which had been tense, relaxed a little under my embrace as her lips seemed to soften under my kiss.Her breathing steadied and her eyelids gave up their fight and closed, while all tension in her frame eased off and her head seemed to relent to the movement of my kiss!Under her breath came quiet, soft moaning and I could feel her start to ever so lightly kiss me back! Her body was gently pressed to mine and I could.
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