As I rocked her I stated to hum "Erev ShelShoshaneem," "Evening of the Roses," an Israeli love song that has asoothing melody.I must have hummed that song a dozen times. She eventually fell asleep.With the help of her father and mother I put her in her stroller. Theparents thanked me and I started to walk away. There were tears in myeyes. They were flowing by the time I sat down at my chair. A few of theother women whom I am closer to came over to me and asked me what waswrong."This is the first time I held a child this small in decades." You miss that," Esther explained.I nodded my head and blew my nose. "It hurts, but there is more. A babythat small or a woman pregnant hurts."Miriam, who is beginning to show, gave a gasp and held her hand to hermouth. I held her hand."I am still happy for you. My pain and jealousy is usually under control,but please understand that because I am a transwoman I have never nor willever experience the joys of giving birth."That brought Deborah. I also ok with that but I started my gamble here that lower has to do whatever the winner says. She thought for a minute and said ok, we started playing, first round she won the game, she asked me to tell what you liked in me, I told her your face and boob. She got shocked with my answer and I said sorry, if you don’t like what I said. She said didn’t expect this from me so I got shocked but this is natural in our age, let continue our game, second game she again won it. Lick my leg like a dog and I did the same but I made her honey by licking her leg bit higher than she expected. Third game I won, I asked her boob size, she hesitated but later said 36. I told that I would like to see it, she shown a glimpse of cleavage by removing her pallu. When we are in next game, her parents called and informed that they can’t come home tonight because of the rain and they are staying in nearby relatives home. She also informed that am staying with her for the night. They know about me do they.
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