I figured it didn't hurt that I continued with myoccasional hobby, even though she and I were now engaged. And later on Icould figure out some way to deal with it. Of course, I would have to becareful. The one thing Shawna would never tolerate was dishonesty. Ifshe found out I hadn't shared my predilection with her, that she wasmarrying a closet sissy, that would be the end of our relationship.I tugged down my sweater vest and straightened the collars on my designershirt. As I went by the wall mirror I checked my hair, which fell overthe tops of my ears. Yes, I was looking flawless and ready for love. Itwould be a relief to get rid of the pressure in my balls. But as I swungopen the door, a broad smile on my face, I got an unwelcome surprise. Ihad to turn my eyes up to look directly at Leon, the tall muscular Blackman who did maintenance for the three buildings in the complex where Ilived.He gave me a toothy grin and said, "Hey, Danny, how's it hanging? Mind ifI step. The pattern was clear, the reasons were cloudy.Lying still while the doctor removed my bandages and examined his work from the night before, I thought of my girls, and babies. Thinking happy thoughts distracted me from the pain the doctor was causing. Every little bit he would touch, brush, or just breathe on some part of my skull and it hurt like he touched a live blowtorch against me.The second time I twitched from his touch he apologized, and said, "I was positive your bullet wound was fatal, Kevin. Your blood pressure was pretty much non-existent, and even though the bullet did not enter your brain, it cracked you skull, split the lining around your brain, did damage to the area that holds your memories, and that shattering shock wave that the bullet crashing into your skull set up, should have killed you. It would have killed nine-hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand people, if not nine-hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine, out of a million. But you.
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