"I canunderstand that. I know just how you feel." And then she waited. I was stunned. Jim came back with my bourbon. I scarcely noticedhim. He looked at each of us in turn, said "What ...?" decided notto say anything more, set the drink down next to me, and left. Gotthe hell out.We were alone again.Jessica then added. "If a man's wife is unfaithful with lots ofother men, there's not much any husband can do I suppose. "Not true, I was now thinking as a bitterness rose within me, andrage. Kill her or divorce her, for openers. Or try to commit massmurder on all those men. Impossible! My anger grew even moreviolent. But directed against who? Against fantasies. Fantasyanger, fantasy violence. Nothing real. What did I actually know? Nothing.Nothing.To calm myself I picked up the glass of bourbon and took a swig,and half the liquor disappeared down my throat. This would not do,I needed a clear head. I set it down. I had to avoid leaping toconclusions. So as if asking. . so neutral and insignificant.Mom hugged me. "Give it time, you will heal. We all do."I remembered my dad about then, and started to sniffle. "It hurts too much right now," I said."Instead of remembering your loss, remember your gain. What did you get from Charli?" Love," I said, " and affection, companionship ... we had fun, too." Those are superficial things, except for the first one. The most powerful man on Earth is a wimp compared to most women. Men seek power; they're greedy and self-centered, and they're weak. They start the wars and women pick up the pieces." Why do women get married then?" I asked."For family and children," she said. "I think someone once wrote, 'They who have no tears in their eyes have no rainbows in their souls'. What you got from Charli was a lot more than love; she's given you tears for your eyes, rainbows for your soul and her daughter to love. I don't believe anyone has given you more, not even your father."My tears dripped on her shoulder as I.
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