”“An’ she’d ‘a’ loved to ‘a’ met thee, an’ all.” He took back the photo reverently, carefully placing it in his jacket pocket.One of the bar staff quietly placed a cappuccino laced with Baileys on the glowing glass in front of Maggie, two little gingerbread men laid on the saucer. Maggie grinned.“You are good to me, lad.”Bob blushed.“ ‘Appen ah likes yer comp’ny, lass.” He carried on adding little orange daisies into the Coffee Lady’s long hair.“ ‘Ave ye got thesen a lad yet, love?”She shifted a little uncomfortably. She sighed.“Not yet.”Bob chuckled.“Ah sees tha’s getting some reg-lee-ar friends, though.”She sighed again.“Yes. At least I know that when I gets me lad, ‘e’ll not want for a good seein’ to.”He chuckled again.“ ‘Appen tha’s the wust virgin as ever were born this side o’ the Pennines, lass.”She smiled, primly and with satisfaction.“I am rather terrible, aren’t I? But I ‘aven’t tekken one up the fanny yet.” She winked sideways at him.“An’ oo ye sevvin’ it foh?”She pursed. ” It was that simple. They even arranged to return on the Friday, together. If he drove it would save her a train fare. All sorted. Now he was nervous.“I’ve not. Well.”“What? Jack. Spit it out.”“Well, she’s a virgin -”“We’re pretty sure she is, yes.”“Supposing I’m, that is, I’ve not. I mean what if -”“Ooooh, I see. Mimi and I are experienced, we’ll put up with five out of ten; but what if a virgin expects you to be better than you are; is that it?”“I wouldn’t have put it like that; but, broadly, yes.”“Don’t sweat it, Mr Sex-machine. She’s giving herself to you to save Mimi – which still makes me laugh, but still – so even if you are rubbish, she’ll not complain. Oh ... and you aren’t rubbish.”“Jacqueline, you can be cruel.”“Fuck off! And fuck me! Haha” replied his wife, who had definitely, if very belatedly, found the route in her head to enjoying sex. She wasn’t into quiet, polite, missionary-position-in-the-dark; which had always been the case before; she was into ‘tie me up and tie.
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