. or of that first, unnamed pub in which he stopped to collect his thoughts and found that it was easier to keep on drinking than to think.The patrons of Manny's or the Iron Key or Proud Mary or the other bars along the boulevard are typical New Yorkers. They've heard it all and seen everything and take with cynicism and boredom the tales that outsiders bring to the brass railing. But they shy away from Neal Court, sensing in some inexplicable way that there is a deep, black grief which is eating with a brooding, sharp agony at the man, that his uninterrupted silence hides a secret which they wouldn't want to hear even if the chance were to be given. There is a malignancy about Neal Court, they say, one which festers, and that no amount of alcohol dissipates. They always leave a stool empty on either side of the man, these jaded pragmatists of upper Broadway, and they hope that one of these days the man who sits alone and never speaks will move on.He will. His money that he so. Don't be toohard on yourself. What happened next? I hope you didn't - you know, goany further. That could complicate matters."I glared at her for even suggesting such a thing. "Oh my god mother,I'm not a slut." I admonished her. Though in fact there was a part ofme that had wanted to continue on. As we were making out, I hadimagined what he would look like with his clothes off. I could stillsee that image in my mind's eye. I continued on.Then the lights were turned up and Chloe stood at the top of the stepstelling the boys it was time to go home. I shook myself out of thetrance I had been in, embarrassed and scared of what had happened. Iran up the stairs to Chloe's room, where the girls were assembled.Chloe had lit a number of candles in a circular pattern around a smallbowl. She pulled out a small exacto knife and cut into her finger,allowing a small bit of blood to stream into the bowl. The other girlsthen took turns doing the same thing. Finally the knife was given tome. I.
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