A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me." But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos." Somma. On Saturday when Emily opened her door she looked very nice in the four inch above the knee dark blue dress she was wearing. The square neckline indicated that she certainly was not flat chested He remarked, “To me it looks like you are packing heat and I am not referring to a gun.”“It is nice to hear you say things like that but I do have a pistol in my purse.”On the drive to the restaurant she said, “When I spoke to my sister and told her who I was going out with she told me about the tragedy involving you wife. Please accept my condolences. It must have been a rough time in your life for you.”“It was but I am trying to put that behind me as you can see by my taking out an attractive State Police Officer.”That caused Emily to laugh which was pleasant for him to hear.Dining with Emily was also pleasant. She was knowledgeable on many subjects and had some strong opinions. While they were talking the expression on her face suddenly became serious and she just stood up and walked away.
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