Cynthia remained quiet as I laid my cards on the table."You're having great sex, so keep having your affair with lover-boy. I don't want to be the cause of an unsatisfied libido, at least not again. I've been to blame for that for almost twenty years and the guilt is tremendous."You are to meet with him twice a week, as you have been. I just don't want you to fuck him in my bed, or my house again. You cannot tell him that I know what a prick he is and that he's been fucking you. This doesn't sound too bad, does it?" I asked. "Essentially, you will do as you have been, except you won't be sneaking around and cheating." You will be his lover, whore, slut, dream-girl, or whatever you consider yourself to be. You will always keep me informed as to where and when you are fucking and sucking him. In return, I will help you keep your secret and not reveal your adultery to the world. Is that fair enough?" I asked."You want me to keep seeing him? What kind of husband would do that? Do you have. An outcome of that was a life system that he felt provided him with a strong base for relationships and handling what life would routinely throw at anyone. That was the cornerstone of his relationships and was high on the things that Nikki loved about him. She was far less sure of herself. She grew up competing for anything that might resemble support and affirmation. She did not have a strong inner core to base herself on and took her worth from the people around her. As a result, she had a tendency to be manipulated by others thinking she was being affirmed and supported. Meeting Joe was a miracle to her. Over their relationship through college and after, she found she really could just be herself and he just wanted that. She didn’t have to try to be someone to get his attention, his time, his comfort, his help, and eventually his love. She came to discover the thing she never experienced, unconditional love. A love that wasn’t dependent on her trying to be something or achieving.
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