I had kissed a few boys at school but Chris was the only man I had ever loved. And in truth, I still do.For this, I hate myself.You see, Chris is a great father to Ashly our two year old boy. He is also a brilliant son-in-law as my parents love him. I love his charm too.Also, I'm grateful to Chris for his open mindedness. I'm Hindu and he takes part in all my rituals.Sadly, until recently I thought he was the best husband I could wish for.Since the fallout, Chris has bought me flowers, chocolate and a new car. He has wrote me poems, planned a holiday to India and planted a commitment tree in the garden. I don't doubt that he's sorry.But he still has to sleep in the spare room while I work on coming to a decision on our future.A big part of me wants to leave him as I understand our marriage will never be the same. Our love has lost its innocence. The wounds of betrayal still fester under the band-aides of hope and forgiveness.There is no point in hiding it, I want revenge. And I want. He seemed to almost spend as much time laughing and joking with the kids than he did with the other adult. At one point, he and Tiffany stood close together chatting in the pool and sipping on cocktails, while Keiko splayed herself facedown on the lounger next to me sunbathing. I could tell Tiffany was taken with him, as she laughed and found excuses to touch him. Jon seemed to enjoy her company but was his normal cool self. "Hey, Tiffany's dad," Keiko suddenly called over. I glanced over and Keiko was speaking but still laying with her head down. "You can call me Steve. And what's up?" I answered."Can you put some lotion on me before I burn. Please?" She added this last plea in a cutesy voice I am sure she knew would make most men do anything for her. Without thinking, I agreed, but then realized, to my delight and worry, what this would entail. I was face to face with her basically nude body, and was about to get to worship at the altar I had wished to when she first took off that.
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