I had no idea she'd ever been into this kind of thing." Tell me what you are thinking right now." When I didn't respond immediately, he stood up and looked at me with a hard expression. I couldn't stop glancing at the end of the riding crop sticking out of the open box. "Tell me!"I whispered, "I can't explain it." Try."The words tumbled out before I could stop them. "I want you to make me." Make you what?" Tell you."He saw my gaze, then reached down and pulled the crop out of the box. "With this?" Yes." I felt my eyes fill with tears as he looked at me with disgust.He rolled the crop in his fingers, mirroring what I'd done earlier. "I told you I don't want to hurt you, Kate." The look of reproach on his face scared me. I didn't want this compulsion I felt become a wedge between us. I whispered, "I just can't stop thinking about it."He reached out with the loop and ran it along my jaw. The tension it created made me draw a shuddering gasp."That's the same expression you make..." There. He knew it wasn't the guy's fault. He was collateral damage. He'd been swept up in her warpath, but had been discarded like an unwanted puppy the second she saw John saying his goodbyes. The long train ride home made John want to cry. Maybe it was the drink, or perhaps it was her. Holding her so tight, it made him feel so strong. He felt so wanted. Her body was screaming out, calling to him, begging him not to go; and if he was, could he take her with him? He kissed her warm, now tear stained cheek. He pulled away, turning and heading towards the door. Just as he exited, he turned one last time. Tasha hadn't moved. She was watching him walking away. She mouthed, "I love you," to him, although he was so far away by now, he would never have clearly made out the words. She was crushed as she saw him ascending the stairs. The laughter further down the carriage continued, as it was now also the long journey home for the city boys, out partying up town, before travelling back to their.
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