He was always so sweet, gentle and funny, but now he was all business and hardly looked at me. The number we did was one of my favorites, “Our Love is Here to Stay.” It was funny how my favorite songs were always about eternal love, you know, “Always” and now, singing, “It’s very clear our love is here to stay,” and here I was singing that song after telling Ben I want us to be free to fuck other people. I needed to find other kinds of songs to sing and stop being so romantic, but those were the songs I grew up with, the songs Mom sang, the songs I needed to believe in if I was going to be honest. When we did the session, I sang my heart out, looking at Ben when I said the words, “The Rockies might tumble, Gibraltar may crumble, they’re only made of clay but our love is here to stay.” He looked at me then turned away while he played, and I could feel his hurt and anger; still we made a great recording. He played a solo that was so incredible I didn’t know where it came from, but I. I would ask for help, but my TAs and teacher are completely useless, and all my classmates are complete nerds.’ ‘Yeah, I hated programming, but I finished all the required programming courses for my major last semester, so I’m done. I guess that makes me a ‘complete nerd,” I said jokingly. We sat there and chatted for a good hour. Turns out she was in the same major as me, but she was a sophomore and I was a junior. I was slightly behind on math, and she was, as she said, ‘somewhat good,’ at math so she was ahead of her grade in terms of math classes. She loved computers as much as I did, but never really explored them until she got into college. I had been building and repairing computers since freshman year in high school. Because of our opposite strengths and weaknesses in our classes, and after she established that I was not a complete nerd, we agreed on helping each other through our courses. I loved chatting to her. I’d only really known her for one day, but I already started.
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