The lady agent did call and Lynn set up a date to talk to her for nextSaturday. That gave us almost a week to talk and figure out what I reallywant to do. During that week the trial was the next big thing to happenand like I said it all went well, and we won't be seeing those two guysfor a long time.By Friday the day after the trial ended everything had settled down tonormal, so I had a long talk with Lynn, telling her how I felt inside whendressed up like I little girl, especially when dressed in a fancy partydress. I told her that I feel so confused, because I really love beingdressed and kind of wish I could stay dressed as a little girl.Lynn said I had a feeling you like dressing like a little girl, you seemedto really enjoy yourself, doing the newspaper shoot and the fashion show,heck that's one of the reasons I really love you so much. Now if you wantto stay dressed as Jillian all the time, I have no problem with that.Matter of fact I would love to have you be my little girl and. If I did decide to take him back, it would only be something between him and me. If I did though, it would be for me, not for him. I can't sleep at night, Jackie. It's worse than when he was away in the War. Then I knew I couldn't do anything but wait and pray for him. Now, he's not that far away. I know him, the bastard, he's not doing a single thing to take care of himself. He's letting all those years I've spent taking care of him, trying to keep him from drinking himself to death, he's letting it all be for nothing. He'll be dead in a year or two if I don't look after him, and we have to hurry before he's just pissed it all away." Ma, what about your pride, what about what people will think?" Do you really think I care what they think or say, Jackie? Do they pay my bills or keep me warm at night? Do they let me sleep when nothing else will? As for pride, don't you worry none about that. I'll get my pound of flesh and maybe a bit more from that bastard. I'll make his life so god.
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