I didn't really want to have to deal with breaking up with Emily too. It looked like I was going to be forced to make another big decision. This refusal of mine to want to get involved in Shirley's problems had taken on a greater significance. I saw it as a question of people not respecting my right to make choices for myself.If we had been arguing over Emily's rights, and I'd been trying to prevent her from helping or befriending Shirley, I'd have felt differently about the way I'd acted. The way it was, I didn't see how I could justify giving in to her about this. I meant justify it to myself, not to anyone else. As much as I wanted things to stay the way they were with Emily, before this problem, I couldn't accept her being able to dictate my choices to me.I took the ring and put it in my top drawer of my nightstand.In five more months, I'd be traveling to South Bend to begin college. Emily and I would have been separated at that time, for at least a school year, because she was a. The caller ID says “EB”.My shaking hands almost drop the phone in my haste to answer.I say: “Evie?”“Katie?” Her voice.We speak together then stop after a few words, confused.I try to order my thoughts. “I didn’t know if you were awake,” I say, “so I sent the text message.”“Oh Katie,” she says. I am not sure if I hear a sob in her voice. “I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking – I saw you on the balcony, and I wanted to call out to you, but Colin was still there…”“I know,” I say. “I saw you too and I wanted to call you. But I wasn’t sure…you know…Colin.”A sigh. “I went away,” she goes on, “then I came back but you were gone. That’s when I left the note. And I didn’t think you’d see it before tomorrow.”“I wouldn’t”, I say, “but something made me look.”Silence.“Katie?’“It’s okay. I’m still here.” So many thoughts in my head.“Katie, do you believe…these things? I was willing you to look. All the time I was driving back, I kept picturing you – at your letter box.”I know.
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