Dad would have been so disappointed in me, had he known.Not that Marsha’s ‘friends’ were capable of telling the difference. They were stereotypical SoCal reality show fodder. Marsha wasn’t the only one on the ‘music’ or PR business, and they all had the sunglasses and air kissing down to a ‘T’.Mid- to late-twenties and they hadn’t grown up, still living only for the moment. Being broke before payday, every payday. They truly epitomized ‘style over substance’ and spending time in their company only clarified my instinctive feeling that Marsha and I had no real future together.I guess I shouldn’t ever have expected better of such a group of shallow and trend-chasing individuals; I’ve lived in SoCal long enough that little surprises me anymore – Gwyneth Paltrow and the money-spinning ‘lifestyle’ mayhem that is ‘Goop’ counts as normal out here – and, being catty about it, I suspected some of our guests had sniffed so many lines of white powder over the past few years that their olfactory. And the very same day, the newspapers announced that my MBE was to be upgraded to a CBE (Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire) in the Queen’s birthday honours. What a joke!The summer of ‘75 was spent in the emotional safety of my walled enclave, surrounded by my kids. Charlie was with me for his twelfth birthday, and, other than her group trip to Italy, Caity always seemed to stay close enough to keep an eye on me too.Through the autumn, people got more and more concerned about me. I was able to self-diagnose the anxiety and intense stress I often felt. I put that down to my mind tying itself in knots over my world-changing vocation. I couldn’t tell the shrink about my future knowledge, obviously, or I’d have quickly ended up in an asylum. The weight of my impossible duty should have driven me to drink, but I was too shit-scared to touch the stuff: secrets drip from inebriated lips. Instead, my drug of choice was the affection of my kids, which proved a.
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