*** ‘So when was the big day?’ I tapped my cigarette over the ashtray, ran my finger around the rim of my glass. ‘March 21st,’ I said. ‘First day of spring.’ The bartender smiled. ‘Her idea?’ I met his gaze. ‘Believe it or not, it was mine,’ I said. ‘There are still a few romantic souls in the world.’ He chuckled. ‘Oh, I believe it,’ he said. ‘I see them in here all the time. Guys with more brains than balls – and I mean that in a good way – nursing their drinks, good intentions in their hearts, looking for that perfect love.’ I gave him a wan look. ‘I never fell in love with a woman I met in a bar,’ I said. He looked amused. ‘So where’d you meet Carmen?’ ‘I ran into her on Broadway.’ He arched an interested eyebrow. ‘Don’t tell me she’s a hooker.’ I scoffed. ‘No,’ I said with a dark laugh. ‘No, I ran into her – literally. Rear-ended her Corolla with my piece-of-shit Taurus. She was a little ticked at first, but I offered to make it up to her over dinner. Can’t tell you how surprised. ‘John, I know you have Asperger’s Syndrome and have a very hard time reading people’s physical and social cues. But I never thought you would take that scheming little bitch for serious. She’s after a position in society. Meaning no offense, my friend, but you just don’t measure up to her vision of the ideal mate. She has a whole checklist of standards her husband must meet. You aren’t rich enough, famous enough, in a profession with cachet enough or of high enough social standing to fit into her scheme to become a Very Important Person. If I’d known you were sweet on her *’ ‘Well, Tasha, you didn’t!’ I snapped, taking a gulp of my drink. Her eyes crinkled but I couldn’t tell if she was amused, frightened or angry at my outburst. ‘I was laboring under the delusion I had something going with her, with marriage not beyond the realm of possibility in a year or two. I feel like four kinds of idiot. Reevaluating, my analysis is that in Debbie’s mind I was an expedient measure. I can see.
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