It seems thatmy DNA didn't have the pattern for my clothes, so they were just a pileof dust. When I looked down, I noticed something was missing. "Daddy,"I asked him, "what happened to my willy?"Daddy had mixed emotions. On the one hand, as a scientist, he wasreally excited about being able to try the transputer on a human.Apparently you just can't experiment on people willy-nilly. Which iswhat happened to me. My willy was nilly. So that was the good news.Explaining to mom why her son was missing his manhood was the downside."Daddy, how am I going to make pee pee without a willy," I asked himwith the logic of a six year old. "Umm, I think we better take you tothe hospital. I'm sure the doctors can make it better," was his overlyoptimistic answer. He took me upstairs, got me dressed and drove me tothe Emergency Room."My son had an accident," he lied to the admitting nurse. "He fell offhis bike." "Fill out this form," said the nurse. "The doctor will seehim shortly." Dad filled out the. ." Dante smirked. "...you're hiding something GOOD inhere, mister dead sorcerer."A smirk on his lips, the demon slayer approached the coffin, inspectingthe encryption on the front: MASTER SOLOMON BINSFIELD, SEPTEMBER 13 1613- FEBRUARY 2 1730."Lived to a hundred and seventeen, huh?" Dante asked to no one inparticular. "Way back in those times, and nobody clocked anything wrong?Eh, whatever. Time to crack this bad boy open!"He raised Rebellion and slammed the tip of the blade into the crackunder the coffin's lid, putting all his weight onto the sword's hilt totry and lever it open. Slowly but surely the top began to raise, cobwebsand moss tearing before Dante worked his fingers into the gap and tossedthe lid aside. Clouds of decay practically exploded from thesarcophagus, catching in the devil hunter's lungs and forcing severalcoughs and wheezes. Fanning the dust away, Dante peered inside and foundexactly what he expected; a body, practically a skeleton from centuriesof rot, garbed in a.
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