Crotches were all I could see. I looked at all the men in the lift. All oftheir pants bunched up in the front. They didn't care. They pushed theircrotches out into the world proudly. They chatted with the girls andlaughed with masculine grandness. I looked down at my own crotch and withhorror I realized that the difference was noticeable! I was filled withfear, shame, and oddly, envy. Imagine, me, a male, having penis envy. Inmy mind, I had no penis!As I stood there exuding my sissiness, I wondered how many women noticed.I have seen girls checking out men's crotches before. Had they checked outmine? Did they notice how the area supposed to bulge had crumpled up likea deflated balloon? Did they think I had a micro-dick? Did they see mecheck out other men and mistake me for gay?The lift doors opened on a floor and the girl I had been ogling her forsome time now walked in. I have been wanting to talk her for some time.Men who were interested probably talked to her. Sissies like me. “Have a drink Matt while we talk,” she suggested.“No thanks Ester, just call Sarah in and let’s get this over with,” I suggested. I had no idea what it could be unless she had found the paint buckets. In which case I was going to load them into the truck and move out tonight. I doubted she would call the cops. If she wanted to do that, they would be part of the discussion.Ester began, “Sarah had never held any kind of gainful employment for more than a couple of months. She had worked for you almost a year. She is in better shape physically than anytime in her life. She actually enjoys going to work.”“So what’s the problem?” I asked. “Is this her way of asking for a raise. If so I haven’t taught her anywhere near enough about responsibility.”“No Sarah convinced me and her dad to help her go into business on her own,” Ester said. “I personally would like to buy you out lock, stock, and trailer. Make no mistake, if you don’t want to sell out, Sarah will be a competitor.”“If that’s all.
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