All I hear from you is moaning. You are still having little tremors and your eyes are closed as you just agree with grunts. What a great way to wake up on our last day together. As I think about that, I am not just elated, but I also start to get really bummed out. I try to put that thought out of my head as I lay there trying to get my breathing back to normal. I really don't want you to go. I love being around you. You make me feel so special. No matter how dumb I can be or what ridiculous shit that comes out of my mouth, you have a way of making me laugh at myself with out judging me or trying to put me down. You compliment me in just the right ways and know when and how to knock my ego back into place at just the right time. You, make me laugh and smile and when you are struggling, you allow me to comfort you and let me make you feel better. Why do we have to live so far apart? Why do you have to be married? Is this a cruel joke that the universe wants to continue. I wasn't prepared to make up a story on the spot so I shook my head "no" and felt my face redden.What she said next floored me, and still does to this day when I think about it. I was half-expecting some advice on how to be confident with girls but, instead, all she said was, "Too bad. One of deese days me and jou should go make whoopee in the ladies room." I'm sure my eyes widened in shock as I gaped across at her, stunned speechless. There was a twinkle in her eyes and a wry, knowing smile as she enjoyed my surprised confusion. She let the overture hang in the air exactly two beats before, back to business, "Here let me show jou one last thing," pointing again at the screen. In her tone it was as though she'd said "just kidding."But, as I was thinking about it later, I realized she never actually said "just kidding." That's what was bothering me. Was she serious? Or was it so obviously a joke that she didn't even feel the need to say "just kidding" because it was implied. Over time.
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