What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? DoughnutsWhy is air a lot like sex? Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbsWhat’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutesWhy do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see youWhy do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure. His pretty armpits with their tiny sprinkles of hair were also on view. He sucked on his lower lip and looked at me with downcast eyes. His big naked toes rubbed the carpet. He was very uptight. "So tell me Danny, what grade did you get in your History test?" I smiled at him warmly,good parenting is a skill. And although I am not his biological parent, I am his guardian. "I got a....B," he mumbled. I saw his tight young tummy flutter. "I thought I instructed you to get straight A's this semester." "It wasn't really my fault, sir. After last Friday, all the kids at school have been teasing me, and none of the girls will talk to me, and I just haven't been able to concentrate like I should at school." "Danny, are you trying to blame me for your own mistakes? " He was referring to the incident when I made him go the school basketball game stinking like piss. "We have to learn to live with adversity. I am simply trying to teach you lessons for life young man. I could be a lot harder on.
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