There was a tendril of memory, floating at the back of my mind, of a babysitter and my unhappiness at having this particular sitter stay with me.The still picture of my mother was engraved into my memory, because, instead of my father come to pick her up, there were two police officers and a clergyman. There words were far too soft for my little ears, and the baby sitter scooped me up and ran from the room, lest I hear and understand.Later...Was it years, later? Decades, maybe.There is no time when you're dead. Only now, forever...Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless. Hindsight cleared up so much, and I now know the anguish she felt as the sterile, white forms pronounced her death sentence.For millennia I lingered in the valley of death. There were no. Tommy and Josh had fucked her twice and Steve had managed a third time. She bounced over to the other five of their little party. April and Susan were whispering and giggling to one another, while the guys were quietly sipping on beers. They looked as if they had just finished a hard day's work. "Hey, let's get something to eat," said Mandy."Sounds good to me," said Tommy getting to his feet."Let's get some burgers," chipped in Steve.Someone else started to say something, but Mandy put up her hand for silence. "Someone's coming," she said as she stared up and out of the pit."Not me," said Tommy, "at least not again tonight." No, really," said Mandy, dismissing the joke. Then everyone heard the sound of tires on gravel. Headlights swept the sky above their heads, and then they heard car doors opening and closing."Hey Walker, you in there?" slurred a voice from the lawn above the rock."Oh shit," moaned Steve. "It's Roy, the guy who clothes lined me in practice today. He said he was.
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