She then walks to the bathroom and brings back what she says is Cocoanut oil which she spreads on the woman’s red and white blotched bottom and back. “I don’t know if this helps her but she deserves something.”Consuela says, “Take rope, por favor,” Mom unties the rope from her wrists and ankles. Mom is glad to contribute something to our activities. As the exposed woman stands we see tiny beads of sweat and the minute pores on her shiny body. We know her splotchy bottom and her back must be aflame. Still the woman winces as if she was giving our family a precious gift and acts if she may be savoring the pain. There must be a very fine line that divides pleasure and pain. A nude Consuela with the little crucifix walks over to Dad. She stops and looks into his eyes, bends over as she yanks his briefs down. Dad jumps back but keeps his eyes on her pendulous breasts. He has an exposed semi-hard penis. She walks toward me. “Like father like son” she says and pulls mine down too. But they. A year ago I was a scared, unconfidentchild dressed in an almost puritanical little girl dress, all sugar andspice, complete with those white pantyhose and those stupid shoes Mommade me wear. What a sight I must have been. A lot sure has happened this past year. And I knew the next year would befull of changes and surprises as well. Tonight as I gazed at myself inthe mirror very little of that young, self-conscious little girlremained. Tonight I looked older, more mature, and more confident. Istill looked my age but not in a childish way. Tonight I looked muchcuter and I think even more desirable. Yet underneath the surface I wasstill in so many ways that same little girl. I was still a bit unsure ofmyself. I still felt uneasy in my role. It was a very scary feeling to begoing out alone on my first date with a boy. Going out on a date wasscary enough under normal circumstances but my dilemma was very unique. Imean boys are supposed to date girls, not other boys. Why did I everagree.
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